Indecision and Isolation

It’s incredible how an individual’s emotional state can alter their perspective on the world. A sequence of bad days could result in regret the week after. This is something I have experienced while living here in Sydney, and it’s the first time I’m seeing the consequences of deciding with low self-esteem.

I think it’s pretty normal, as there are some things missing in my life, by that I mean some fundamental pillars that are required in order to maintain a fulfilled life. First of all, I socially isolate myself subconsciously. Hear me out, the compound effect does not take place only for good things, it obviously does also for bad things, and as far as I remember I have always been that isolated since I have memories when I was a child, I have always had some kind of friction staked with overthinking that doesn’t let me interact genuinely like normal people easily as cutting butter. Take an example of compounding my isolation, first of all, I arrived with no friends, which leads me to hadn’t taken the decision to go to a party because I’m alone, so it would feel weird. This leads me to isolate myself more because I don’t have any interesting experiences to tell. 

I try to go off my limits, but it’s insanely hard when you have been acting that way since I was born.